17 Essential Transition Tactics From A Queer Trans Mom
17 transformative ways to help you finally thrive no matter where you fall on (or off) the gender spectrum
Hi there! I’m Stephenie, host for Queer History with Step-Hen-ie, where we deep dive into queer media and queer people. Today, we’re turning our focus around to you.
Think back to the you that existed before you were more than a simple speck of being. That’s the you that hadn’t yet done anything in the world. That’s the you that was worthy of living and thriving for the simple fact of your existence. That’s the part of you that deserves to see itself for what it is and know you are worthy for all you are and all you have yet to become.
From gender hacks to words of comfort and inspiration from a queer trans mom, here are 17 essential transition tactics. Get ready to meet your best self wherever you fall on (or off) the gender spectrum.
Gender Hacks
Transition, like recovery, depends on the little things
Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to become someone you wouldn’t feel excited to meet?
It’s called Euphoria. It’s the opposite of Dysphoria. It’s the EXPERIENCE of our gender finally feeling validated.
You’ve felt it too. Maybe it isn’t food that does it for you, but it’s a universal feeling romance writers tapped into with one simple phrase: “It feels like home.”
It doesn’t even have to be gourmet. As long as eating it feels good.
There is a much-rumored second part of transition. The problem is that in order to get through it, you gotta have the right tools.
This is the part of your transition that comes if you stick with it and cultivate your authentic self. You finally — FINALLY — experience existence as yours was meant to be. You learn not just how to find relief from pain, but how to cultivate joy.
You’ll need two essential toolkits.
I used to wonder whether there was a switch for my gender. Flip this one and I’d be a woman. Flip this one and I’d be a man. Flip them together and I could mix and match. Turn them off and I could discard gender altogether. Finally, I could be who I was meant to be… But only if I flipped the switch at the precise moment. And it’s the timing that always put me right back where I started.
What Mr. Rogers Taught Me About Being Transgender.
As of March 2022, the APA released a series of blink-and-you’ll-miss-them updates to the DSM-V (offsite) through a text-revision.
Thankfully…I read them! And I am D-E-L-I-G-H-T-E-D to share with you just how helpful these tiny changes will be for trans, queer, and all gender non-conforming people.
Comfort from a Trans Mom
This is the article to ask all of us to show up for each other the way our moms (or other family members) did not.
You are here. You are alive. You deserve to exist.
I believe that so strongly that I recorded a video at the end of this article to tell you so. I want you to hear me say it in my voice.
You are here. You deserve to exist.
You deserve safety, peace, and heartache. You deserve to thrive as often in mediocrity as bitter failure and overwhelming success. You deserve a life that is as full as anything you could ever dream.
You deserve to see other people who have the gift to dream even bigger and show you what remains possible.
Hi!
My name is Stephenie. I’m a trans girl. I know lots of other trans people, and now I’m happy to know you.
Really I’m just happy to meet another person with transgender experiences. That’s how I think of myself. I’m not a trans woman. I’m a woman with trans experiences. But sometimes I say trans woman because it’s easier.
Hi Stephenie!
I have a question for your transgender soapbox (anonymous please). How should a parent talk to other parents who knew their child before transition? Especially if the other parents’ religious/political affiliations makes one worry how they will react to your child being trans?
QUESTION: Am I trans if I didn’t experience gender dysphoria until I was a teenager or an adult?
Question: Can you feel dysphoria without being trans?
If you’re trans and you haven’t already asked a cis person this question, get ready to have a C-O-N-V-E-R-S-A-T-I-O-N.
Dear Stephenie,
This is awful. I hate it.
My body isn’t mine. It just isn’t.
I spent way too many years with the wrong hormones, the wrong clothes, the wrong voice, the wrong EVERYTHING.
And now here I am. I missed out on all of the things I should have had.
Do good parents raise their kids to think of elephants?
It’s a big question. And yet who thinks to ask it? Even when that’s all being a parent is really about.
Today’s question is taken from Ash — and also from all of us who tried like hell to be good enough for our family and got told we never would be.
Not unless we changed that one little thing.
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